Oh my dreams

Are never quite as it seems, never quite as it seems. They'll come true, impossible not to do, Impossible not to do. Cranberries-Dreams

How do dreams come alive? Only with the help of God. If you have ever watched the movie Evan All mighty, you will know what I'm saying. From a hobby cam another hobby. From two hobbies came an obsession. From there a dream resurfaced that I had since I was a child. From that and learning to walk with God, the dream is coming as a reality.

Since the change in my life started I have been asking people," What did you dream about doing when you were young? Then I asked them, "Why didn't you do that?" The dreams we had when we were young is the calling of our hearts. People become afraid as they grow up to follow that dream and trade their passions for safety and acceptance, money, security and control. But what does it matter if you gain the world and lose your soul?

It's hard to take that path. You will loose things and people that you thought mattered. People might laugh at you, give you every reason not to. It might not work, and all those who told you so will seem to be right. But walk with God and look at it as an adventure. Trying and failing is truly better than not trying at all. Of course God can not fail, so how can you?

The wilderness

I was watching a PBS special on David, King of the Israelites and they talked about how the bible has a lot of metaphors in it. I have always tried to look at the bible as a literal work but now here is a deeper meaning. One of the metaphors that struck a chord with me was Moses and the Exodus.
The exodus is a story of life on the path of God. First you are in bondage, slave to all your wants, needs, mistakes, habits, and sins. Yes you may get things out of this stage in life but it is ultimately unsatisfying. You cry out to God to save you. Then you are saved. God brings you out of slavery, darkness, and sin. Usually there is much rejoicing. Next he brings you to the wilderness. Here you will wander for a while. This is the place were LOTs of stuff happens. I often wondered "Now that I'm free, what do I do with the freedom?
1) Learn: about yourself, about God, about the truth.
2) Develop your relationship with God: pray, read the word, go to church, and apply the faith in your life.
3) Heal; the old wounds, the new wounds, purge the lies, trash, and bad habits from your life.
Pretty much what you do is cast off the old you, mentally, physically, spiritually, financially, and socially. Then God replaces them with the you he destined you to be in the first place. Once that happens, God will bring you into your "promised land".

Don't worry more knitting stuff next post with photos!

Photo's at last

Quisha's first knitted item, a bag with I cord handles
The finished praying hands blanket, not blocked.

The title was going to be "free at last" in reference to my life after being saved by Jesus, divorce and Job-less -ness. Now I get to spend my time figuring out with all this freedom and options in front of me..what now? I think the reason freedom is scary to people is because there are so many options. But there really aren't. When you are a kid, your heart tugs you to what you were created to do. The problem is finding that again and having the courage to pursue it.
Wish me luck!

The learning curve

Like everything in life that we learn, there are some things that you get right off the bat, and some things that take a while to get. Take spinning and knitting. I know people who have just taken off from the first lesson and some who have struggled with everything from holding the needles to wrapping the yarn in the right direction. But if the goal is worth the work then we do it. I learned to spin on a drop spindle, then on a wheel. It took me 2 years or so to spin thin yarns worthy of competition and my own judgment. Now I strive to learn to spin thick and soft yarns. It will probably take a while to train my hands and mind to stop drafting so much.
My life has also taken a wild curve. I am forced to look at my habits, strengths and weaknesses and reassess them. I have been learning to look at the black pit of dissatisfaction and instead of drawing the curtain, to face it, identify its causes and work on them. The root question right now is “What does it mean to be a woman?”
I get the feeling this question will be answered sooner than I expected. I’ve been reading the book Captivated, and it reminded me of many of the female tendencies I had as a child that were squashed by the Feminist message in the household. I noticed that encouraging that feeling in my daughter has really brought her to life.
Back on the fiber front, I finished spinning up the sock weight yarn out of the Brown Sheep hand paint. It has some black fibers and kemp in it. The hand is rough like some Columbia I bought. The sequences of colors were a little harder to follow but I think that might have come from how I split it. In the end my Sock weight became close to a worsted weight after washing and hanging to dry. The second skein wasn’t as tightly plied as the first but the difference is so slight, it’s only something I would notice. (I was tired by then!)
To give myself a break I have begun spinning the dark brown CVM. Greasy stuff. I love how it washes up, but I have to wash my hands after a bought of spinning it. This one will be a heavy worsted if not a bulky weight yarn. This yarn is defiantly teaching me about spinning thicker, and treadling slower. The shortness of the fibers and the lumpiness of the roving defies all attempts to spin a thin smooth yarn. By the time I get done I will have 7 oz of good experience, not to mention good cap and scarf yarn.
I will probably be washing fleece this winter, (something I never do) because now I control the heat and I can actually get it dry in about 24 hours or less.

Well, I’ll see if I can get some photo’s up. The new camera is still so cool! But we have limitations on computer access.
So until next time…
Toodles!

Now it's been two

Two. Two years tomorrow since I started this blog. I can't belive it. I thought I was coming on maybe 1. Wow... I still read many of the blogs I used to read, Yarn Harlot, Panopticon, and a few new ones.. Brooklyn Tweed, Two sheep Getting Stitched, and Modeknit. My friends still keep their blogs Muses of a Dragon Mad Knitter, Does Anybody Give a Damn. I listen to podcasts (which started in the last year) Cast on, Sticks and String, Knitwit, and the KnitPicks Podscast.
I've been enthralled By EZ, Lace, and Fine wool. I've knit a sweater from the fleece up, and 2 pairs of socks. J got a new motorcycle and a job he can hold onto. I've finaly adjusted to Christine and Heather has become the most accomplished violinist in her school. Quisha has turned into a young woman and I have a job I like and offers me some opportunities for growth. My east coast relatives continue life unchanging. At least we haven't lost anymore of them.
My garden has grown and the flowers bloom beautifully, both figuratively and literaly.
Life is good, let's hope for another couple of decades like this.

This is your life ..

Are you who you want to be?

Wow I have been working on that question for a while now. I narrowed down my options to processor, sheep farmer business owner- yarn fiber equipment, business owner- custom work.
Now I've done almost everything except sheep farmer and None of it completely satisfies. The animal produce more fiber than I can sell, the fiber equipment and yarn selling is as variable as a menopausal women's moods, and the custom work is petty and not very rewarding.

So what's a girl to do? Doing it all to cover the gaps is just so much work it leaves me with little time to do anything else, and honestly it doesn't bring in as much as a "normal " job.

So I am getting rid of the bunnies and alpaca and the new puppy. I am still trying to figure out whether to get out of the custom business. I've been thinking of it for a while now.

Everything I do outside of work is an excuse to avoid something. That's why I only like to craft when I have something else I'm supposed to be doing. I'm tired of avoiding whatever it is. So for a while I will have to strip away all the distractions until I figure out what I'm avoiding.

When I did my paperwork for the guard, they looked at my entrance scores and remarked that I could do anything I wanted to do. I remembered that was the feeling I got when I finished the fiber festival. I can't seem to find that feeling now but I know it's still there. The question now is..
What do I want to do?

Lean on me..

Please go to Annie Modisitt's blog and read today's post. If you ever thought your life was messed up, remember there is always worse or at least someone else in the same boat.
God bless their family.

A Beautiful Day

Mary J Blige wrote:

- I woke up this morning opened up my eyes and prayed,
lord cuz it's a beautiful day, no matter what nobody say
even though it's cloudy I can see the sun rays oh,
cuz it's a beautiful day no matter what nobody say
cuz it's a beautiful day, a beautiful day

That song got me through a few tough times, as well as happy ones. I had my second interview today.
Another one called
Testimony was useful around 415 when I got a call saying I hadn't been selected. I also got the official letter of RIF from work today.

That and I am just so worn out. My daughters Museum night was tonight. The little stinker had her pieces in the showcase and in the art auction. Another teacher had her scheduled for a violin piece during the showcase. I had to kabosh that, I'm way too tired. But I'm really proud of her and took her out to dinner at Village Inn for a treat.

The trip to the funeral and back saw the front left of the shrug done. I'm almost done with the right front but have had to rip it back several times for various mistakes. So I need a rest for real. I'll start working on it again Saturday. Also Saturday evening I will be looking at the Springfield fairgrounds. This place will be more expensive but it's more space. We are also going to make the classes pre register. I will probably have to join several new clubs to pull in some resources. But first things first.

Right?

A scene of music

This post is in the L.U.&E category because of this first paragraph.

I was listening to Sticks and String podcast"who Will Buy?" and towards the end is an instrumental piece that really got me. The first part reminded me of a beginning knitter, working step by step. First they learn knit then they learn purl, then rib then stockinette and then they are off making sweaters and things that are more and more complicated but still consisting of knit and purl. Then there is a break in the music, and it starts over again, this knitter is teaching someone else to knit and the newbie follows pretty much the same path, with the work getting more complicated as the skill grows. The music pauses again. This time the scene is of the two in a knit shop and pans back to many in a knit shop and pans back farther and farther showing growing numbers of people knitting in the town, state, country, continent, until it shows just how many knitters there are in the world, old, young, new, and experienced. The end of the music comes back to it's beginning theme, the knit and purl. This shows a child, under his mothers eye, making his first stitches. The end.

On a longer note, I am still looking to finish the armpits of the handspun seamless yoke sweater. I finished the back and collar, decided not to put ribbing on the sleeve cuffs, and decided the puckering was a design. I want to get that finished this week since Quisha and I will be sharing it. I think blocking will be a good idea.

I have spun up lot 2 of the gifted merino. Another 2 oz or so plied tighter than my normal handspun so I won't untwist it so much when I knit it. Into what I'm not sure.

I have been working on the Noro cashmere sweater and found that 1 skein makes 4 inches of body, so I will probably use 6 skeins on it, 3 skeins on the sleeves and the fourth may get eaten up just in case my measurements are off.

The babies opened their eyes last week between day 12-14, and now the larger one is trying to eat hay. they are working on their third week of life and are looking great! I let them run around the floor last night and they thought everything was interesting...even me! They are both so big they don't fit in my palm anymore. I have to hold them around their fat little middles to move them around. They still enjoy cuddling up in the bottom of my sweater though.

I picked up a new book at Page Turners last week, called the knitting path? Lots of famous people are in it, but I don't recall them being that famous when the book was published. The french knitting lady in C.A. who had a D.I.Y mini series, The lady from Knitty Gritty and some others I can't remember. Many who were just starting out on the knit scene, or were big in their own circle, but not anywhere else.(Or maybe it's just me, but this book was written in 99-2000)

I got to see my friends this Saturday as well as pick up another knit job. It was a great stress relief to see them all again.

Toodles!

The Journey of 1000 miles....

Today was a lesson. In what I'm not quite sure but I feel moved. This morning I was inconvenienced by the OPS bus problem. Angry I was looking for someone to blame, but I have come to the conclusion that it was no ones fault, it was just life. I went on with the rest of the day and didn't let it get to me.
As I searched for a place to hold the fiber fest I took J's suggestion and tried the VFW. I talked to a man who wanted to tell me all about his health problems. I was patient, having worked at the VA med center. When I went to tour the hall this evening, he told me he had just been diagnosed with aggressive bone marrow cancer in September. He is 73 and spent 38 years in the service. I met his wife and listened while he told me about how the 8 kids they raised, none of them ones they had together, turned out just fine. All of them have major careers on the east coast. One of them works for NASA. One of the things I learned was that they enforced the idea of respect for each other in their family. Something I have not been doing. I don't wonder at some of the bouts of disrespect my husband gets from the kids, and I know that some of it comes from my actions.

Bored and desperate for a podcast, I went back and listened to the first or second podcast from Cast On. One of the songs she played was to become a theme song for another podcast, and another is one I just heard on David Reidy's Sticks and String. Instead of thinking about how people can't be original enough to pick their own music, I was struck by how much of a community has been created and how we are all connected. It warmed my heart and made me remember that we are never alone.

As I listened to the podcast and thought about knitting, I "cast a loving gaze" over to my handspun sweater. I can't wait to finish it. I have some ideas on embellishments but i am proud that it has not been changed from it's original intent. It's hard to knit an object and not have ideas about how to improve it or make it something else. It's really hard to make what I started out making. To realize the idea was fine just the way it was. Sorta like vegetables raw, fruit without dip, or just me in plain clothes.

Interview with a fiber artist

I recieved my copy of sheep and goat world, the newsletter of the Nebraska Sheep and Goat Association.
This makes my second interview ever and I'm becoming a celebrity.(My first was the OWSG Guild newsletter)
If you get this newsletter let me know. You know how we celebs like to be recognised!

I am finally going to do a bit of review of 2006 and some looking forward on 2007.

I came, I played, I will play some more.

Nuf said?

I have started to watch the Potters Touch/House a show run Sunday through Friday on TBN by a man named T.D. Jakes. He is inspiring. I am learning to get where I want to be in my life. One step at a time but always a step forward.

I have decided to stop knitting for other people. My intention was to focus on spinning. Knitting was only away to evaluate them. Somehow it expanded and started taking over. Don't panic, I will still knit, and I will still buy yarns but I let myself get sidetracked.

This week, My boss got demoted, I got new job duties, and I got the opportunity to take a job that pays more and works with more positive people. I also got a work out partner and a routine starting next Monday.
Wish me luck, I'm gonna need to invest in the Motrin company=-)