Saturday, November 01, 2008

525,600 minutes

How do you measure, measure a year? How about Love? How about Love? How about Love? (Rent- the movie)

Today is the 1 year anniversary of my moving out of J's house. I am divorced, jobless and in possession of my two girls.

I am also the happiest most content I have ever been in my entire life. I smile and laugh more, Not just in frequency but I smile and laugh with my whole mouth. My heart and soul are light, my spirit is free and I am exactly where I am supposed to be. Why?
Because God loves me. I have submitted and committed myself to him with all of my heart. I asked him to help me, I asked him to heal me. I asked him to guide me and teach me. He asked me to do some hard things. Divorce, quit my job, and then the hardest..Trust him.

But it has been an amazing year and God has responded to my cries. I fought him, I fought myself and I fight society every day. But He knows me and plans ahead. He kept every promise he has made me. The ones He showed me that are in store for the future are so wonderful I know He will keep them too. I love him with all of my heart.

If you haven't found him, or haven't found him with everything good and bad that is in you, stop waiting, stop searching, stop hiding. Go to Him. I promise on my heart and soul, it will be worth it.

Good night, and God bless.


Thursday, October 30, 2008

It fits!

It has been over a month since I posted and I'm sure no one reads this anymore.
But Today I tried on a halter top I've been knitting and it fits. Wow I mean it should right? But no pattern. Just me, a measuring tape, a vague idea of what it should look like, and how to make one...and it fits. (Thank you Lord and we look good together.) There is only one thing. It was intended to fit over another shirt but it fits so well that's not gonna happen. I will have to block it after I seam it and put on some finishing touches. It would look better over Quisha's clothes but it's very suggestive with a V neckband a fly away waist.
The yarn is merino silk blend and it only took 2 balls (not even) of sport weight on size 5 or 7 needles. Wow I gotta go look at the interweave submission site.


Saturday, September 20, 2008

Ain't that peculiar!

Peculiar as can be.

I have learned to knit without looking. So now I knit and watch TV or knit and read at the same time.
It's eerie.
I have not been spinning much. Fall weather went away last weekend and the desire to spin went with it. I have started knitting a double domed cap. White brim and dome 1. Still haven't figured out what the second one will be. Some random ideas in that direction: using the dishcloth patterns to put designs on your caps. 2 caps, two designs.

I want to knit a dragonfly baby blanket. But I have no baby to give it to.(Of course I still want one of my own, a boy to give it to.)

Speaking of more children, I had a dream (several) of being pregnant one more time. I'm still hoping, but a man in the making needs a man to make him. I'm surrounded by boys, guys and overgrown children. I have been dreaming of past males lately but those are more upsetting than informative.

Anyway I have figured out the gansey pattern I want to make. It has the intertwining trees pattern from lion brand on the tummy framed on top and bottom by bands of garter stitch. There are cables on either side of the chest and a set of stacked garter stitch diamonds in the center. The sleeves have diamond shaped cables running down the top to the elbow.
There are false seams, gussets, and welts, and the channel island cast on. It will be a nice creamy white and a beautiful sweater.(Now if I could just find a man to fit it.)

It's gonna be a long singlehood. I'm filing the papers next Thursday so technically my single hood hasn't even started. J however has started dating which is good for him. I am not taking that route again. This time I will let God choose.

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Thursday, August 28, 2008

Oh my dreams

Are never quite as it seems, never quite as it seems. They'll come true, impossible not to do, Impossible not to do. Cranberries-Dreams

How do dreams come alive? Only with the help of God. If you have ever watched the movie Evan All mighty, you will know what I'm saying. From a hobby cam another hobby. From two hobbies came an obsession. From there a dream resurfaced that I had since I was a child. From that and learning to walk with God, the dream is coming as a reality.

Since the change in my life started I have been asking people," What did you dream about doing when you were young? Then I asked them, "Why didn't you do that?" The dreams we had when we were young is the calling of our hearts. People become afraid as they grow up to follow that dream and trade their passions for safety and acceptance, money, security and control. But what does it matter if you gain the world and lose your soul?

It's hard to take that path. You will loose things and people that you thought mattered. People might laugh at you, give you every reason not to. It might not work, and all those who told you so will seem to be right. But walk with God and look at it as an adventure. Trying and failing is truly better than not trying at all. Of course God can not fail, so how can you?


Friday, August 22, 2008

Lifting me Higher

I have a Job, I have my kids, I am free and forgiven. Gods love has lifted me higher!
Independence Mall
Something I want to be able to draw, but a nice view don't cha think?

The Mamba

Worlds of fun Gospel choir
Worlds of Fun Antique cars
I have been spinning and knitting. I'm working on a vest for the youngest. Heather is is now in HONORS Orchestra and has become a bonafide crossing guard!
Quisha has blown the school out of the water taking HONORS chemistry, algebra one choir, Swim team and drama.
The lord is good to my family.

Sunday, August 03, 2008

Here is today's muppet news flash

We have a job. We are moving along with life. Most of our friends are good. Except one whose grandbaby died last Sunday, by falling out of a car. Please pray for her and the child's mother.

School starts soon, Quisha Heather and I are getting ready. Quisha will be in 10th , Heather will be in fifth, and I will be....frantic but proud.

The church and I went to KC last weekend. It was a blast! We went to the Peachtree restaurant for good soulfood, then to Independence mall for some shopping, and ended our trip at Worlds of Fun! There was a gospel concert that night and a sleepy ride home to follow.
I even got to watch several movies I had never seen before: Tyler Perry's Meet the Browns, The Great Debaters, and First Sunday. All pretty cool.

Quisha and I made snicker doodles (sorta) Thursday while watching 10000 BC. I finally got in the pool and went swimming. I haven't done this in years. But since my situation has changed and many other things as well, I have re learned how to enjoy it.

On the knitting and spinning front, I started knitting a bag of white wool. Just a small 6 by 6. I need to get back to knitting shawls. They are so useful at work over a tank top. I have one in grey and autumn red, as well as a velvet one in a deep blue purple. But I need black white, blue, and brown. I also need some inspired patterns to go in them. I like plain stockinette but it gets old when your skills are way beyond that. Simple lace patterns are two simple and complex ones you can't take everywhere. Quisha is still working on her caplet. Coming along well with enough yarn to finish. My baby tulip cardigan is a disaster, it came out way too big and short in the body. I may just have to see if it fits someone I know. I have got to get a grip on my dimensions. I'm 5'6" 125 lbs and just not as wide and way longer than I think. I've only managed to make 1 sweater so far that actually fit me and I don't like it cause the yarn sheds. Good grief!

Spinning continues (but now only on one wheel since I gave my Schacht away) on my corriedale alpaca blend at 50/50. I now have 2 oz spun up at a worsted weight. Shawl? Maybe, I was thinking more of a jacket, but the yarn is too soft. Maybe a blanket for the winter. Maybe a present for a friend.
I may give my 8 harness loom away too. If any one wants it just holler.

Anyway life continues apace, my spiritual life has been growing in unexpected directions. I can tell my self esteem is changing as many habits I had, have been given up. I'm not sure when that happened but it's been growing for a while now. Purging anger at people I had long since forgotten about. It is so unexpected that I am shocked at the reactions after all this time, But I ask God to come and heal me at this memory and he washes away the anger and the hurt. I've also been learning that you really can ask God for your hearts desire, and that religion can be a hindrance to the journey. Sometimes the church gives people the wrong message, stay busy, become morally and spiritually pure, be humble and don't ask God for anything you want because wants get you in trouble. Jesus asked many people What is it you want? Most were sick, someone they loved was sick, or were infirm or nuts. Jesus healed them all and forgave their sins. But still we miss the point of the question, or maybe it's overshadowed by the condition these people are in. But if you want nothing from God, how can he be involved in your life? If we want nothing from life, why are we living?
Can you tell I have been reading again? John Eldridge is a great writer. But I back up what he writes by reading my bible at night. Jesus tells the disciples on his last night "You may ask me for anything in my name and I will do it." John 14:14
I know next I need to trust God with my more negative feelings doubts and questions. I'm certainly not fooling anyone pretending they don't exist.

Any way I gotta go, have a good one.

Saturday, July 12, 2008

Too much time on my hands

Yes that is a song title. I need to buy stock in Google for the sake of You Tube. OIY!

So now after the banana bread we have moved onto blondies. (since I cannot have chocolate) They are pretty good if a bit sweet. No subbing this time, I just followed the recipe. I must say that my oven bakes faster than the recipe calls for. Usually by 5-10 min. The Pear butter is coming but it will have to wait till tomorrow or something. Thusly as my friends say if you're baking you have too much time on your hands! Speaking of friends, another has been telling me (and proving) It's tuff having friends. So it is Jim. Donna and Jim two of my friends who are quickly becoming favorites gave me these..

On Tuesday and there are about 1/2 of them left now. Who knew eggs came in so many colors! Blue, green, and red brown .

Oh and look what else Donna does...

Isn't she amazing? That's a quilt that started in Africa, then came to America with pieces from Pennsylvania and Plattsmouth

I am almost done with the adult dream in color tulip cardigan. Lots of changes here but since I never bought the pattern I can only guess where they are. The first I think is that I have 8 colors so no repeats, the second is I going to hem the "button band" and the collar. That will take care of the stockinette curl. Photo's when I'm done, I promise. It is a knock out.

This is a yarn tomato. If you don't see it that's fine, I just had to catch it. The thing in the foreground is some of the cardigan.

Inspired by my daughters first project, a need for a dress purse for church, and an upcoming trip to Worlds of Fun, my next project will be a 4X4 white wool bag.Speaking of the oldest, her birthday was thursday. Now she is officially 15. Where did I hide those car keys....

Speaking of church, I have been made secretary for the new Salem Commitment Academy. I am also in charge of organising and planning the final graduation ceremony.(March 2009). I'm not bragging, I'm more going What did I get myself into? But if I can pull off a fiber show, I can do this, God willing.

Today is a beautiful day and I hope you all got to enjoy it. I know I did!