Sunday, February 12, 2006

Just keep knitting

I recently bought the book Knit Lit the third, as well as perusing other books of it's kind. I have read a lot on how knitting or any craft can heal. I want to share my story. If you have been reading the blog some of this will help you make sense of some posts.
In September of 2005, I became involved with a person that turned my life upside down. Not that it was anyone's fault but it was a stressful time then. A new teen, a new dog, 3 weeks of overtime Saturdays, My husband got a new job, and I had been told that we would be downsized, we just didn't know when. I'm not sure how it happened, but over the next 6 months, I became infatuated with this person and to make it worse it was returned. I couldn't sleep, I didn't want to knit, spin, or be with my friends or family.
In Oct I had the chance to end it and was working on just that, but the downsizing issue flamed up again, and my husband was enjoying some of the side effects. The infatuation got worse with every meeting, every contact and communication, until I found it growing beyond it's previous bounds. The holidays were torture, and thru it all my knitting fell by the wayside as did my spinning, meetings and friendships. Sometimes reason would poke it's head thru the drama but it was quickly suffocated. I felt 15 again, and it was...great.
It all came to a head in Jan. I found myself contemplating divorce, and daydreaming about a better life with this person. I had myself convinced this was the right thing to do. I had returned to my knitting meetings and even began to spin a bit. But somehow a gnawing feeling that had been growing since Nov would not be silenced. When I began to have dreams of the devil coming for me I knew I had to stop and take stock. Not only was this relationship unhealthy for me, but everyone else around me as well. It ended by mutual consent.
I realized how much I missed my knitting friends, and by knitting, I wasn't thinking of this person. And so I began to get them out of my head as well as out of my life. Whenever my mind turns in that direction I pick up my knitting, and I forget a little more. Since it's only the beginning of February you can see it hasn't been very long, but it has been quite successful. I don't daydream much, and rarely find them on my mind. I can go 5 days without communicating with this person. I do slip occasionaly, but maybe this week it will be 6 days and next week 8. All I have to do..... is just keep knitting.

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